Destroy your art!

 Why do I paint patterns and then damage them? Distress them?

Maybe it's my love of history. Finding buried treasures that have been brought to light. Worn and well-loved pieces of....something. Something bigger. Something lost.

 Maybe it's loving the look of old barns and houses. Wondering about the lives that lived there. Looking at old photographs and putting yourself in that time, that place, feeling how the air felt and the way the wind smelled

 Maybe it's because we all carry scars. Parts that are covered up, parts that have been broken. Parts that are still breaking....Maybe this is why I paint patterns, bright colors....and why I destroy them, sand them down, smear the paint, muddy the colors and take sharpened blades and chip away at the surface....to reveal a different, stranger beauty. A beauty revealed in age and endurance.

 Maybe it's a way of painting time and life.....remembering other lives, places and times.

Maybe it's a way to reveal a truth....that I have yet to discover or name.....but I know that it's out there because I see it shining in the broken pieces of things that remain....

Invitation to Enter

work in progress...
Here's my latest work in progress sometimes when I'm working on something and I come to a stopping point, I'll bring it into the house from the studio so I can study it during the day...this work is an attempt to paint more of what I want to paint, something not dictated by an idea of "audience" or "market" but rather for me...about things/feelings/ideas I'm curious about....


I've been reading a book called Acedia and Me by Kathleen Norris. Acedia as defined by the book jacket "is a term understood to be spiritual sloth, but really signifies the serious malady of being unable to care."


In other words....boredom....
Bored with your work and it's lack of progress you begin to seek out other ways to feel fulfilled. The author describes this as it relates to early monks, but also relates how it can affect artists, writers and others whose work is often done in solitude with little or no response from the outside world. 


Something to which I can relate.....


I've always had in me a restlessness, a longing of sorts and I've often looked to spirituality for answers...but I often find myself back at square one, as it were...


But, I truly, truly, believe there are answers and comforts to the things that trouble us....but I also find that when I  research things of this nature online and even in libraries I find time and time again....Law of Attraction.....


Maybe, I'm reading things wrong, but honestly, the whole Law of Attraction thing really bothers me...I feel it can set up gullible and hurting people for more disappointment....one thing, for instance, that I struggle with (like so many others) is financial issues partnered with raising costs of...I don't know...everything.....and I also struggle with wanting so, so, bad to make an income with selling my art/books/creative endeavors and so I research how to do this....and I find (and I'm sure you do to if you follow anybody in the art/blogging world).....they all have something to sell...in the form of e-courses, e-books, and blah blah blah....and can show you how to do it for only $$$$.....and at lot of what is out there (and I admit to having bought some) is Law of Attraction and create your own coaching, e-course, yada yada....and nothing much about selling actual art....


Maybe I'm wrong...maybe I'll eat these words...maybe I'm just not buying the right e-book or trying hard enough...or whatever....


But...


I don't want to do those things....(e-courses, etc.)
I want to make art...
art that reaches people...
that reminds them of simpler and more sacred things....
art that has a life and a sense of history....


And I know that my art isn't there....yet....I've been painting towards an invisible market and audience...trying to paint something accessible to more people so that perhaps it would sell....and it hasn't so I'm not doing it anymore...I'm painting for me and my thoughts, ideas and curiosities....and I can't promise that it will be any good, but I feel a hole and a burning desire for a more authentic...experience....


In this way I'm going to try to beat my restlessness and boredom....and my despair...I'm opening myself up to inner peace which is to say happiness...


Maybe this is the wrong thing to say or do....maybe I'll hurt myself in the long run...but if I can't be myself...who else is going to do it....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sidenote: The above painting is called Invitation to Enter...somebody on Facebook asked me why she has her eyes closed if she's meant to be inviting...here's my response...  it's internalization...a spiritual invitation over a worldly one....an opening on her inner self than the external...


Also, since painting something that has meaning to me...I can actually come up with meaningful titles rather than a generic descriptive label...

The frogs have it figured out....

Sometimes you just have to sit in the sun.

And if someone tries to move you....you might have to pee on them to make them leave you alone.

Well, maybe not literally...but you gotta do what you gotta do...

What ties you down?

The world needs to rationalize. In order for me to figure you out...tell me what you do. Once I know that I can move on....

Our 'thinking' brain needs to apply a label so that it can move on. The problem---labels inadequately place us in a box where we don't fit. The only label that might be adequate is...human.

We can cause an indefinite amount of problems by trying to label something....

Want an example...it's a big one...

WHAT IS ART?

Break down into genres for further confusion...What is folk art? What is outsider art? Fine art? Illustrative art? Oh, dear heavens...craft?!?

The problem with labels, besides being possibly insulting, is that when we listen to them...they trap us. Limit our possibilities. Why? Because we're human. When your brain hear's a label applied most of the time, we accept it and say, yes, that must be true and we stop. Yes, I'm "X" and not "Y"...This stops us from pushing our boundaries because we've found our label...all should be well with the world. But it isn't.

The ultimate catch?

Guess who applied your labels?

You did.

We label ourselves so that we fit 'in' to whatever 'in' is to us. Because we live in a society which is our larger 'brain' so label ourselves, we compartmentalize into groups.

But as I said earlier, labels stop growth and movement into a move fully realized potential.

Sure, I know we need labels at some point, we live and operate in a world that demands it.

But sometimes we let labels control us and tie us into an Gordian knot. You know how to untie a Gordian knot....you don't...you cut it.

We need to cut our ties to inadequate labels when concerning ourselves, our lives and our passions. We need to move forward into becoming something new. But don't get trapped by new labels, continue cutting, continue moving forward. Life after all IS the journey, the great mystery to be revealed....And don't we all want the fullest life available....let ourselves go...

We deserve the freedom and movement to become who we in our greatest potential are meant to become...

Untied and free....