New Mother on Mother's Day!

Well Mother's Day is right around the corner and this will be my first since having my now 6-month old. It's been a whirl wind ride...ups and downs, confusion, frustration, fear and worry....but also unimaginable joy and happiness and knowing a love I never knew I was capable of.....

This kind of love reminds me in a way of Frida Kahlo's The Two Fridas....
Only my son holds my life blood and sometimes my very breath....it's like we are two halves of one whole....it's an amazing, powerful love that words cannot explain....it's like holding your heart in your mouth

Motherhood is the one damn hardest things I've ever done....nearly 26 hours of (mostly) non-medicated labor (no epidural) before culminating in a c-section, the pain, adjustment, second guessing, fear and complete emotional break down before being lifted up into a all encompassing love...

Mothers, women, their journeys, struggles, loves and losses....mean so much to me now....I've never been much of a girly girl and I'm still not and I've never really had great female relationships either...with family or friends ....but there is bond between all women I think...a bond stretching back all the way the Eve, there's a well of strength and perseverance that allows women to carry on....

I'm proud to be a mother...

Well now...where have you been?

Newest work in progress!

Well...where have I been?
1. Moved into a new house
2. Had a baby
3. Had a kidney stone
4. Had some very, very, very busy days

So....to save you the boredom of reading all that...I'm just posted pictures of my newest work. Please, tell me what you think! Most of these are available for sale. Email me if you're interested!

Rainy Day in the Country

Oh, it's raining. When I work up the day was gray and cool. I hopped outside before the rain arrived to take some photos and let out my beasty demons. Then, back inside.... to work on my "illuminated" books and put some chicken soup in the slow cooker while the rain falls outside.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Thoughts on authenticity, fears, trusting the universe, acceptance and all these things jumble around in my head until I don't know which end is up.

Overall, it's been a huge and terrifying year. A year of changes, a year of endings and beginnings. And on top of it all....fears...fears of losing it all, fears of what these changes will bring, how I will change. My pregnancy is reaching it's end and this ending brings new beginnings.

I want to be open and accepting. I want to live fearlessly and confident, sharing the talents and gifts I've been given, offering these gifts for the good of myself, others and my community.

Working on my recent "illuminated" books have offered some respite. The idea of illuminated books, bringing in the light comforts me. Shutting out the world, listening to music, and methodically cutting and removing layers of text to add images and patterns. Creating art, something sacred out of something that would have been discarded, thrown out and forgotten. This process gives me a sense of completion, a sense of accomplishment and that everything will be alright, because someone is watching out for me.....just like I'm watching out for these old books and giving them new life.

So, how do you cope with overwhelming thoughts, feelings and fears? Do you burrow away into your work, write, etc?  And what do you think of my "illuminated" books?

Mixed Media Altered Book

Here's what I found on my desk this morning....well, what I've been working on. I love illuminated manuscripts so this is my version of that. I take a book, saw it down, cut it out and paint it. I'm loving the results! So, much fun, I become completely absorbed in the making. (Much to my husband's chagrin because I never hear the phone when it rings.)

I'm reaching a realization.....of sorts. Maybe it's coming from the changes I'm experiencing and will soon be experiencing with upcoming childbirth....

Well, my realization is more like a letting go....letting go of my old self and making room for the new one to grow....letting go of the assumption that the art I create has to follow a form...I just like to make stuff....letting go of fear and worry and the need to "fit" in....I'm letting myself "go with the flow" and accept things I can't change and accept myself....and I find a sort of peace with this...peace of spirit and mind....and this peace brings a freedom in creation and trust...

Anyways.....the last pic is a new altered book that I'm listing on Etsy.

It's getting chilly here....stay warm.

On my desk this morning...

Here's a look at what greeted me this morning. I try to get in there daily to "work". Today had all kinds of pleasant interruptions, my mom and nephew came over. Other not so nice interruptions include a cough and head cold that's kept me down the past couple of days and a baby who has decided that my belly is an inflatable jumper. It's pretty hard to use a X-acto knife when your belly moves of its own accord. But I've made some progress. I've been really enjoying the altered book/mixed media thing I've been doing lately. The new work is showing up in my shop....POP over if you care to have a look.

Well, tomorrow's Saturday. If all works out, I'll be heading in The Magic City (Birmingham, AL) for their annual ArtWalk. Hope your weekends great!

New Mixed Media/Altered Book

Here is an altered/mixed media book I recently completed. The pages were made from the leftover cut out bits from the altered books from this post. The text pages were folded and glued then folded as pages. Then they were altered in some way, painted, stamped, collaged with found text, etc. Once the pages were done I sewed them altogether inside a pale blue leather scrap bound with a long stitch and weaving. There is a ribbon sewn into the ribbon to tie the book closed and I used some copper and glass findings to embellish the front. Voila! Mixed Media/altered book! I ran into a few problems while making this book but nothing that couldn't be overcome.

Mournings and Musings

One part of my life is ending and another is beginning. I'm starting a new life with a new LIFE and a new house and so many other new things that it's all overwhelming at times. I have to let myself mourn a little to that which is ending so that my heart is open to receive the new blessings that will enter. It's hard. I lay awake at night (some due to the pregnancy and some due to the thoughts and dreams and hopes that the future will bring) and try to let things go. At the same time I'm desperate have my books and art supplies unpacked so that I can get to work. I feel pulled in so many ways creative and otherwise.

These images here are the last things I was able to finish before having all of my things packed. I long for my "studio" space at the new house and hope and dream that what I create there will allow me to have a life at home to raise my son. I see so many possibilities and wonder which ones will open doors for me to create this type of life. I'm full (literally and figuratively and creatively and all the other -lys you can think of). I try not to get discouraged when things fall apart but it's said that things fall apart so that others can fall together. I try to keep this in mind.

I suppose in the end things happen as they must and we must learn to let things happen as it will.....

The steampunk altered book is available HERE.

Here's some things keeping me inspired in these days of waiting and longing:

http://yama-bato.tumblr.com/categories

Check out the gorgeous images in the bookbinding catagory.

http://www.createmixedmedia.com/uncategorized/they-say-were-obsessed-like-its-a-bad-thing

This sums me up nicely.

http://pinterest.com/hilaryblackwood/

And I've become addicted to Pinterest.