Atlas

 Of course, they think I'm a man. After all, it's been such a long time since I've seen anyone.

"But, who, but a man could hold up the weight of the heavens?!"

"What do men know of perseverance?", I counter. "To hold the heavens for all time..."

And to think that I'm made of stone. Rigid and unmoving. Do the scientists not reveal to us that the heavens move?

To think that strength alone bears aloft the heavens. No, it takes more than strength. To sway and bend as the heavens shift in my arms. It takes a dancer's grace. It is a womb that I carry above. Pulsing and throbbing with life. And wombs can only be carried by women. And only love can bear the weight of the world.

Destroy your art!

 Why do I paint patterns and then damage them? Distress them?

Maybe it's my love of history. Finding buried treasures that have been brought to light. Worn and well-loved pieces of....something. Something bigger. Something lost.

 Maybe it's loving the look of old barns and houses. Wondering about the lives that lived there. Looking at old photographs and putting yourself in that time, that place, feeling how the air felt and the way the wind smelled

 Maybe it's because we all carry scars. Parts that are covered up, parts that have been broken. Parts that are still breaking....Maybe this is why I paint patterns, bright colors....and why I destroy them, sand them down, smear the paint, muddy the colors and take sharpened blades and chip away at the surface....to reveal a different, stranger beauty. A beauty revealed in age and endurance.

 Maybe it's a way of painting time and life.....remembering other lives, places and times.

Maybe it's a way to reveal a truth....that I have yet to discover or name.....but I know that it's out there because I see it shining in the broken pieces of things that remain....

Golden Fruit

 
She remembered green. Great rolling green. Like the ocean. That great expanse of water that tossed her stomach ridding it of the moldy potatoes she'd eaten at her last meal on the island. They had come here for the gold and they found it, stretched out all around them glistening in tiny grains under the burning red sun. But the real treasure, the only treasure she found was the strange, new golden fruit that tasted like life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

New painting on recycled house wood.

The Herdess

The Herdess

Acrylic painted on recycled house wood.

There was a big pile of wood across the street. The city was finally tearing down the drug den where the prostitutes had covertly ducked into slowing cars.  The stench of mold and mildew lingered in the air and the bugs swarmed.

The lot was quickly emptied. And the grasses sprouted quicker, filling in the bare patch of earth exposed to the light for the first time in decades. Small fresh flowers replaced the fallen and sullen.

Before the city dump trucks came to haul away the walls and panels riddled with numerous nail holes, a quiet girl with her hair pulled back in a pony tail carefully sifted through the pile pulling out serviceable panels and dragging them down the street to her house. She would give them new life. Give the wood better pictures than they had previously witnessed. Perhaps let a new eyes see a different view.

She pulled out rusted nails. Sanded the rough sides and chose the face to paint. And created a new world.

The Herdess

She was strong. She worked hard and she cared for the animals that were hers to care for. They trusted her wisdom and guidance. She walked the firm earth in confidence. But behind her were crumbling walls. 

Prints available. Contact for info.

Rainy Day in the Country

Oh, it's raining. When I work up the day was gray and cool. I hopped outside before the rain arrived to take some photos and let out my beasty demons. Then, back inside.... to work on my "illuminated" books and put some chicken soup in the slow cooker while the rain falls outside.

I've had a lot of thoughts lately. Thoughts on authenticity, fears, trusting the universe, acceptance and all these things jumble around in my head until I don't know which end is up.

Overall, it's been a huge and terrifying year. A year of changes, a year of endings and beginnings. And on top of it all....fears...fears of losing it all, fears of what these changes will bring, how I will change. My pregnancy is reaching it's end and this ending brings new beginnings.

I want to be open and accepting. I want to live fearlessly and confident, sharing the talents and gifts I've been given, offering these gifts for the good of myself, others and my community.

Working on my recent "illuminated" books have offered some respite. The idea of illuminated books, bringing in the light comforts me. Shutting out the world, listening to music, and methodically cutting and removing layers of text to add images and patterns. Creating art, something sacred out of something that would have been discarded, thrown out and forgotten. This process gives me a sense of completion, a sense of accomplishment and that everything will be alright, because someone is watching out for me.....just like I'm watching out for these old books and giving them new life.

So, how do you cope with overwhelming thoughts, feelings and fears? Do you burrow away into your work, write, etc?  And what do you think of my "illuminated" books?

Mixed Media Altered Book

Here's what I found on my desk this morning....well, what I've been working on. I love illuminated manuscripts so this is my version of that. I take a book, saw it down, cut it out and paint it. I'm loving the results! So, much fun, I become completely absorbed in the making. (Much to my husband's chagrin because I never hear the phone when it rings.)

I'm reaching a realization.....of sorts. Maybe it's coming from the changes I'm experiencing and will soon be experiencing with upcoming childbirth....

Well, my realization is more like a letting go....letting go of my old self and making room for the new one to grow....letting go of the assumption that the art I create has to follow a form...I just like to make stuff....letting go of fear and worry and the need to "fit" in....I'm letting myself "go with the flow" and accept things I can't change and accept myself....and I find a sort of peace with this...peace of spirit and mind....and this peace brings a freedom in creation and trust...

Anyways.....the last pic is a new altered book that I'm listing on Etsy.

It's getting chilly here....stay warm.

Progress of a Painting

Here's another progress of a painting I recently finished. I forgot to take pictures as I got caught up in painting but you can see the gist of the progress here. This painting is available as a print in the ol' Etsy shop.

Another Donation Piece

Here's another donation piece. I don't know what's gotten into me to create these three dimensional weird things. Maybe a need to create "sustenance"...something more tactile than a painting.

Maybe it's knowing that these creations are going to be leaving the house soon. I hang my pictures around the house more as a way to store them than anything else and creating something that needs to be stored in a more secure or...."displayed" in a more "safe" way isn't practical for me.

Maybe that's way I never tried other art forms, paintings are generally easy to do and store, but larger more demanding pieces like sculpture or pottery or any of the myriad art forms demanding space are harder for me simply because I lack the space and funds. Not that I wouldn't try them I would but if you've ever done anything creative you know there's always a set-up costs, supply costs, storage costs......costs, costs, costs. Painting seemed easier and cheaper.

But I do like to experiment and these past two "sculpted paintings" cost nothing to make. I already had everything I needed.

So, there you go....

Donation Piece for Tornado Benefit

On April 27th Alabama was hit by several tornadoes resulting in the deaths of hundreds and the destruction of whole towns and neighborhoods. The outpouring of love and assistance has truly been amazing.

I've decided that the way I can help (being at the moment physically unable to do much grunt work) is to share and pass along info through internet means, pray for the victims and create art to donate to a local gallery that is having a benefit auction for the victims. This gallery also held an auction to benefit the Gulf Coast Oil spill which I also donated work for.

This piece is something completely new and different for me. It's mixed media with a anatomical heart cut from board and applied to painted canvas. Then I wove copper wire through and around the heart suggesting the rays of traditional sacred hearts. I really enjoyed making this getting to work with my hands to create a more sculptural piece was very pleasing and calming. In fact, I may do more like this.

I also created another piece that tore that incorporated sewing onto the canvas. I'll share that one later.

I've felt very helpless when it has come to helping these people--limited funds and unable to physically help, so when the chance came to donate to raise money I was thrilled to accept.

So, what do you guys think of this new work? And if you are in the Alabama area and want more info about the auction and how to help, just drop me a comment. The auction will be held on May 27th.

Painting in Progress

Here is a series of photographs that show the step-by-step process of my last painting. I started this quite by accident. I had applied red paint to a book I was altering but the paint was too watery so I took a canvas and wipe the paint on it. Then I filled in places with heavy gesso to add texture in the final painting. The red splotchy paint suggested a red horse which is something I've been wanting to paint so I blocked in a rough sketch of a horse and filled in the background with blue and a yellowish white. Once the horse was blocked in I began cleaning the lines and adding shading in a reddish brown all the while continually working the background. Finally, I added the details like the eyes, reinforced the shading and finished the background with the edge detailing. That's it!

I'm trying to document more of my process because I plan to apply to do different shows and often times you need works in progress photos. I plan to get better with the photos as you can see several of these are too dark...but there's always something to be learned.

The finished painting is available as a print HERE!

Before and After the Storm...

Outside the thunder is grumbling...warning us to stay inside because it's about to lose it's temper in an outpouring of tears.

I love thunderstorms. The grumbly clouds, frantic lightening, and gray sheets of water playing the xylophone on the roof.

Right now, we're between storms and I scooted outside to let the dogs get their feets wet and to take some photos of my newest painting (last photo). This painting was inspired by our newest pup edition, Mary. Read about her HERE.

While me and the dogs were out I found fungus growing on a fallen tree limb--victim from a previous storm, we have about 6 pecan trees in the back and lose a ton of branches in a storm---and a tree full of wet leaves and dark berries.

I'll be working in the shop today (the above painting is now available as a print--HERE, painting, listening to Pandora (R.L. Burnside Goin' Down South is on now!), and enjoying the thundering arrival of April showers!

There are things that I don't know about painting....

"We worry about our needs being met because we have never noticed they are." -Charles Foster

The tea lies poured into its cup

yet my head is still steeping

too many grains yield a bitter drink

thoughts, ideas, images, words

I wonder how I will swallow it all

the tea goes cold

forgotten in the drinking of dreams

So...what are you thinking these days?

What do you think of the new painting?

Bustling Activity...Yep, It's Spring!

Days filled with activity! Here's two paintings that I did yesterday. I generally do one painting in a day but yesterday I got two done. Here some other things that have occupied me over the last few days...

1. Road trip with friends to a book store in Chattanooga, TN. Books purchased:

Gustave Moreau: Magic and Symbols

Myth A Biography of Belief

3 book Treasury of Kahlil Gibran

Thematic Guide to World Mythology

The Square Halo and Other Mysteries of Western Art

Defining Art Messages from God

Klee

Fireflies by Rabindranath Tagore

Letters of a Young Artist

ATC Workshop

Artists Journals and Sketchbooks

Creative Awakenings

Die Schlumper: Art without Borders

2. Reading about different philosophies---Note "reading" not necessarily practicing...

perennial philosophy

noetics

religious pluralism

continental philosophy

3. Writing nearly every day...not a novel or anything just thoughts concerning philosophy, mythology and creating a life in the field of art

4. PROJECTS! Artwork for an upcoming local theater production, creating work to show/sell in a local salon, commissioned to paint a piece of glass, upcoming bookbinding classes at GSCC, and making some sketches for art pieces.....whew......

Spring with all it's busy-ness and things being born has officially begun!

I'll leave you with some favorite quotes, I've been thinking about lately....what do these say to you....

John Donne "...death is an ascent to a better library..."

"Are you going to go on the creative soul's quest or are you going to pursue the life that only gives you security?" Introduction to Joseph Campbell The Hero's Journey

"When people say they're looking for the meaning of life, what they're really looking for is a deep experience of it." Joseph Campbell

"The fear of hell is hell itself, and the longing for paradise is paradise itself" Kahlil Gibran

"God made truth with many doors to welcome every believer who knocks on them." Kahlil Gibran

"Art is a step in the known toward the unknown." Kahlil Gibran

"Fear of the Devil is one way of doubting God." Kahlil Gibran

?????

What ties you down?

The world needs to rationalize. In order for me to figure you out...tell me what you do. Once I know that I can move on....

Our 'thinking' brain needs to apply a label so that it can move on. The problem---labels inadequately place us in a box where we don't fit. The only label that might be adequate is...human.

We can cause an indefinite amount of problems by trying to label something....

Want an example...it's a big one...

WHAT IS ART?

Break down into genres for further confusion...What is folk art? What is outsider art? Fine art? Illustrative art? Oh, dear heavens...craft?!?

The problem with labels, besides being possibly insulting, is that when we listen to them...they trap us. Limit our possibilities. Why? Because we're human. When your brain hear's a label applied most of the time, we accept it and say, yes, that must be true and we stop. Yes, I'm "X" and not "Y"...This stops us from pushing our boundaries because we've found our label...all should be well with the world. But it isn't.

The ultimate catch?

Guess who applied your labels?

You did.

We label ourselves so that we fit 'in' to whatever 'in' is to us. Because we live in a society which is our larger 'brain' so label ourselves, we compartmentalize into groups.

But as I said earlier, labels stop growth and movement into a move fully realized potential.

Sure, I know we need labels at some point, we live and operate in a world that demands it.

But sometimes we let labels control us and tie us into an Gordian knot. You know how to untie a Gordian knot....you don't...you cut it.

We need to cut our ties to inadequate labels when concerning ourselves, our lives and our passions. We need to move forward into becoming something new. But don't get trapped by new labels, continue cutting, continue moving forward. Life after all IS the journey, the great mystery to be revealed....And don't we all want the fullest life available....let ourselves go...

We deserve the freedom and movement to become who we in our greatest potential are meant to become...

Untied and free....

Haunted by the South....

Lately I've been on a "southern" kick...which I find odd....since, you know, living in the South...
For some reason, I look around and realize I'm in the south...all it's weirdness, kookiness and downright southerness....I'm also struck by a sense of "duality" for lack of a better word. Simply meaning, how the south is a thing unto its own? And how it's finding itself in the 21st century while being firmly rooted in the past.....

And I'm also finding more and more ways "the south" has popped up all around me through other blog posts, books, etc....

But let me say...

Hollywood always gets it wrong....

And I always get mad when somebody in a movie is from "Alabama" and they're a complete idiot...

And the "oh, so southern" eccentricities...think Steel Magnolias, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, etc....how much of this is true...?

Let me just say I've never seen someone do a hoe-down at a wedding i.e. Steel Magnolias...

I have been to a confederate themed wedding where the men carried black powder muskets and shot them over the heads of the wedding party....and it was in a cornfield....

I've been to Birmingham, Montgomery, Savannah, Memphis...all the "southern" places and they all seen pretty normal...

I mean, yeah, you get some random craziness, cows in the middle of the highway, dog's headstones in the backyard, any given Sunday at trade day, passing tent revival's and wondering where they keep the snakes...but it's mostly normal? (Not that handling snakes is normal unless you're from up the road a ways).

What do people think of the south? I'm always intrigued when someone from out of state moves here and finding out how they like our accents, grits and iced tea.

So, I look around, try to be non biased and try to figure out where these people get their info...

Are southerns weird? Are we all eccentric?

Oh, by the way, that's a new painting up there...

Myths...

Have I ever mentioned that I think too much?

Today I remembered one of the very first myths that I read...it was Edith Hamilton's version of Pyramus and Thisbe....

In the story two lovers and neighbors cannot be together because of their parents and the only way they can communicate is through a chink in the wall that separates them. They decide to meet beneath a white berried mulberry tree. Thisbe gets there first and spys a lioness fresh from the kill....Thisbe flees but drops her cape behind. The lioness finds the cape and tears it with her mouth as she wipes her face on it. When Pyramus arrives and finds the bloody cape, fears he has sent his love to her death and hastens his own...

Later when Thisbe returns and finds Pyramus dying she in turn stabs herself with his sword and together they perish...

The white mulberries hanging in the tree above them were forever stained dark red with their blood....

Now, I remembered reading this as I was going through paintings, posting pictures and updating shops... Check out prints here

A recurring thing I paint is a tree rooted in a heart....

A part of me wonders if this painting is not in some way...a regurgitation of this myth after being embedded in my brain...

I love myths and mythology, I love the way they shape us and tell us about our selves, our loves and our fears....

Myths can bend, twist, and change their faces and give us universal truths about humans...

I try to explore this with my art....reinventing myth or at least giving certain paintings a old, traveled look to them...which is what I think a myth would look like if it had a face...old, traveled, slightly weary and slightly impish....with a certain twinkle in her eye...

What myths do remember or do you feel have shaped you?

New Paintings

Here are a few new things I finished yesterday.

Why is it that as soon as you decide...all right, that's it, I'm done...things start happening. Is it a weird joke that the universe plays....stringing you along or is it something else....

I don't know but it's frustrating sometimes. Maybe it's the reminder that things can and will happen...you just have to continue having faith and trust that something good will happen....maybe instead of the universe stringing you along...it's a pat on the back saying, "You can do it. Don't give up. Look see."

But having faith/trust/belief is hard...so hard...especially when it gets to the point of nearly hitting bottom....and someone somewhere throws you a rope....

I'm speaking of course about trying to make a living doing what I love, selling books, selling art, etc. But I believe this type of thing spans across many things....

What are your thoughts?

A bit of info for you!

As soon as my blog reaches 100 followers, I'll be doing a free giveaway! Probably have a few things available and let the winner pick. I've never done this sort of thing before and it will be interesting to see how it will work....so spread the word and send people this way!

Also check out my facebook page! Click here!

Haunted by Ophelia...

Haunted by Ophelia...

Ophelia pops up in my sketches from time to time...she has for years. There's something intriguing about her. Here she was surrounded like people acting a fool (literally) and she gave in too it.

That's the thing about crazy...it can take you with it.

Without going into to much detail, suffice it to say that I've been around crazy my whole life...and it's easy to fall into that trap....it's easy to stay there, stay crazy, and just be with it.

But...I tried to follow the road less traveled (by my crazymakers) and got out...I'll admit...it's been hard...the isolation from people I love because I can't be around them very long without getting certain Ophelia-esque tendencies....the struggle of the feeling of having to go it alone....the nagging thought that I might be next in a long line of crazy....

But...you have to fight it....do the hard thing (which is often the right thing) and get up and get over it....Let Ophelia go.....just let her float away....because if you're honest....nobody really cared about Ophelia...she just was...then wasn't there...innocence corrupted by crazy

Has she haunted you?

Traveling in 3rd Class

Maybe it's living in the South, maybe it's the idea of having fewer choices, opportunities or options (what have you), harder decisions and seemingly less to work with....but the "3rd Class"
or underdog typically holds place near and dear in my heart...

Rising above your circumstances or simply being proud of your origins or maybe even being blatantly snarky about it...there's something endearing about the underdog...something that says, "Even though, you have it all, we're still here...we ain't going any where."

I don't know...maybe it's appropriate thoughts on Martin Luther King day...that the "underdog" will be celebrated, that they'll receive recognition, that people will understand that we're all in it together, no matter where we are....

So...where are you today?