Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Porch and Other Adventures





Well, some days are adventures. These adventures often served to remind us that life is a gift, a journey to be traveled and remembered....sometimes we come across adventures that served to....well, be thankful for who we are....

Right now my own adventure has led me to having blackened knees in an unfortunate spray painting endeavor....(must remember overspray on plastic sheeting) The reason for this mishap is we've recently cleaned our porch and I'm repainting some of the metal furniture. We also removed an old air conditioner that had been on our porch for mumble, mumble amount of years.

There are many reasons to buy a house and our porch with the thought of rocking chairs on summer evenings really appealed to Jacob and I.

So, what did not appeal? Or rather what did we not know about or understand...?

First off, we have a backyard neighbor we like to call Junkman. Now, unfortunately, the pictures do not do you justice as the wonders of Junkman's house. Junkman travels throughout the neighborhood picking up other people's trash and also, going THROUGH their trash cans....now, I'm all for recycling, upcycling and all the other cycling you can do....but this, this my friends borders on.....mania. He is also known for his ability to BE drunk at 8 am on a Sunday (Alabama has an ancient prohibition law forbidding the sale of alcohol on Sundays), dancing frantically, topless, but in cut-off daisy man-dukes...to the tunes of Lynard Skynard and singing along although he sounds like Merman....glllurrrraaaarrrllllll

I'll try to get pictures of the front of the house to further illustrate my point, but let me paint you a picture. Imagine, a pool, one of those inflatable pools that are about 3 feet deep and are very popular. Now, imagine a mosquito net tent pitched directly over said pool, while pool is filled with water...now maybe that's not strange, but imagine also in this yard....baby dolls that occasionally appear as lawn art. Or the various mirrors, counter drawers, paint cans, cars on cinder blocks, etc. that make rotation through this yard. And I might add dear readers, that Jacob and I have often placed trash near the road and taken wagers on how long it will take for someone to drive by and grab it and not always the Junkman....we once nearly watched a fight break out over Jacob's old high school chip board desk...but I think what really infuriated the lady is that we refused to help her wedge it onto the back of her tiny hatchback....and someone else had a truck and grabbed it...hahaha

But, it's not just the joys of watching the neighbors fight over the trash...it's also the random dog headstone that is in our backyard...any sadly, has been moved so we do not know where Poochie lies ASLEEP....


So, I must tell you that when I create door protectors, it's not just the keep away the evil eye, but also my neighbors....

P.S. I don't hate my neighbors, in fact they're all pretty cool, expecting maybe the old man who caused me to get a parking ticket in my own parking space because he couldn't ride his rascal around to terrorize others...and tried to shoot my dog....and who we think shot a family member....and maybe not the house of ill-repute at the end of the street....But, really most of my neighbors are great.....if only for entertainment purposes....I'm just kidding....I hope none of my neighbors see this....

3 comments:

Kate8085 said...

That headstone is super weird.
Poor Poochie!!!!
I am starting to think you live in my neighborhood..hahahaha.
Bunch of crazies here too!

Ross said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
philyra said...

Hilary,
You mean to tell me that you live in the sweet ol' south and you don't have a fridge (working or non-working) or at least an old sofa on your porch? ;)